SOMEBODY LOVED ME ONCE
by Donna McIntosh
Summary: Ennis finally opens up and it's to a bar room full of strangers.


Title: SOMEBODY LOVED ME

Author: Donna McIntosh

Email: to archive: Yes

Fandom: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Pairing: Jack and Ennis

Rating: FRT-G

Summary: Ennis finally speaks up and it's to a barroom filled with strangers.

Warnings: None

Disclaimers: These characters belong to Annie Proulx, I'm just playing with them now and then.

SOMBODY LOVED ME

Ennis Del Mar sat on the bar stool, sipping from his bottle; shoulders hunched, hat pulled down low, eyes staring at the shiny bar as he listened to the conversations all around him. Everyone had something to complain about; bad job, bad wife, bad kid, bad luck all around.

The wind outside had picked up to a gale and the bartender went over and latched the door to keep it from blowing open again. The thunder did it's best to shake the building down and lightening streaked the sky lighting the place up like daylight. These summer storms in Wyoming blew up fast and fierce and most everyone just hunkered down until they passed. That's just what this group was doing on a Friday night in Riverton.

The man next to him nudged him and asked, "Don't you agree there old timer? Ain't nobody up there in the White House knows shit from Shinola as far as farmin and ranchin is concerned!"

"I reckon," Ennis mumbled; not wanting to be drawn into this conversation but it looked like the only alternative was going out into the storm and he wasn't ready for that.

"I'll tell you what; the whole world's gone crazy!" The guy with the bushy red beard said, shoving a shoulder into Ennis, "And this God damned war in the Gulf ain't never gonna end. Those sons of bitches don't give a damn. Ain't their kids out there gettin killed; they're all off in those fancy-assed colleges gettin degrees. It's the poor folk's kids doin all the fightin; and what do they get when they come home, IF they come home? A minimum wage job somewhere if they're lucky; most of 'em end up in those re-hab places or in jail. I tell you, it's a sad, sad world!"

"Yeah, Evertt, my government subsidy's been lowered this year too; so has everybody elses. You ain't got no choice; you just gotta live with it." The skinny cowboy next to him said.

The third guy down spoke then, "You know, I saw a guy with a t-shirt on that said it all! It said "Life sucks! You get born, you work your ass off and then you die". That's the story of my life, all right!" he added.

"Ain't that the truth? I'll drink to that. How about you, fella?" he nudged Ennis again, "Chris" he hailed the bartender, "Bring another brew over here to my friend. His bottle's empty." Then to Ennis he said, "This one's on me, friend. You look like you've had a hard life yourself. I'll just bet you'll agree that life pretty much sucks!"

The bartender sat another cold one down in front of Ennis and took the empty away. He drank and thought for a few minutes then decided to speak.

"Life is hard; I'll agree with you there, but it can also be a beautiful thing. Did you ever spend a springtime morning up in the mountains when the sun is just comin up and the sky is all rosy pink? Or sit by a campfire and listen to the wind whistling through the trees while you toss back a bottle of Old Rose? Did you ever hold a new born baby in just the palm of your hands and see it lookin at you? Did you ever dance with your daughter at her wedding? Did you ever see a rainbow or smell the sweetness of the grass after a summer storm? Did you ever play in the snow with someone you loved and build a snowman or make snow angels? Didn't you ever, just one day in your life, have someone look at you with love in their eyes, just because you're sitting next to them?"

The room had grown quiet as he talked; they were not used to hearing this quiet loner speak. He usually sat there at the bar drinking alone and saying nothing so they were all interested in hearing what he had to say.

"I am an old man now and you are right that my life has been hard. I have worked hard every day of my life that I can remember, I have lost loved ones. I have been over the moon in love and I have been on my knees in grief; but would I say that life sucks? No sir, I would not. Life is worth what ever price you have to pay for it, and believe me, I have paid dearly; but once, a long time ago; somebody loved me. And that my friend, is worth it all."

The storm outside had quieted much as the room had. Ennis Del Mar stood up, paid his tab and left; got in his truck and drove back to his little trailer. He stood for several moments by the open closet door and touched the collar of the blue denim shirt hanging there.

"It was worth every minute of pain, Jack. I'd do it all over again if I could; but I'd do it different. First time you'd asked me to go away with you; I would, Jack, I swear."

The End


End file.
